25+ of the Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 12, 2025)

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  • 01
    meghan @deloisivete Dec 4 My 7yo told me he doesn't want a party on his actual birthday because he just wants a break from people, and I totally get it
  • 02
    meghan @deloisivete 17h • me: hey, can you guys not put stuff there? people might trip my kids: *carefully setting their tablets, a butter knife, Christmas ornaments, dirty socks, and the Declaration of Independence on the stairs*
  • 03
    meghan @deloisivete 18h · 0 ... Letting my kids just go for it on their advent calendars so I can get caught up on work, follow me for more parenting hacks
  • 04
    TROPHY Dad Named Mat... @mahname... 19h Ø My niece said she found one of those disc things in the car and when her dad asked her what she was talking about she was like "one of those disc things you watched movies in back in the old days."
  • 05
    meghan @deloisivete Dec 9 • 0 No one: My 7yo: Most people who live on earth live to be 80 or 90, because earth is one of the safest places to live. It's one of the safest planets to live on, and it's safer than the sun me:
  • 06
    NicholasG @Dad_At_Law Dec 9 • Parenting teenagers means constantly shifting between wanting them to come out of their rooms to spend more time with you to wanting them to go back to their rooms because you need some time to yourself.
  • 07
    meghan @deloisivete . Dec 9 Every year the school sets up a little shop. Year 1 my kid got gifts only for me, but stuff he wanted for himself. Year 2 he bought things only for himself. Year 3 was something for each of us, which means he's right on schedule for some ironic O. Henry level gifts next year.
  • 08
    meghan @deloisivete. Dec 8 0 ... It's been 10 years since I've had a silent night. Anyway, happy birthday tomorrow to my 9yo
  • 09
    NicholasG @Dad_At_Law Dec 8 • Had to explain to my 14 y/o daughter that even though she found it "distracting", she can't just leave our family group text chat.
  • 10
    meghan @deloisivete Dec 7 · 0 My 9yo and his best friend are telling each other dad jokes and cracking each other up, and there's not a 6-7 in sight
  • 11
    meghan @deloisivete Dec 7 • me, every night: ok kids, just unplug the Christmas lights, don't unplug the router my husband, every night, 1 minute later: what happened to the WIFI ...
  • 12
    Darla @ddsmidt. Dec 6 My husband just left something on the kitchen counter. Here I was of the 0 impression he thought everything belonged on the dining room table.
  • 13
    NicholasG @Dad_At_Law • Dec 6 As my 15 y/o daughter was leaving in her car this morning I told her to make sure to give people space today and even though I was talking about driving I think I just accidentally gave her some pretty damn good life advice.
  • 14
    meghan @deloisivete Dec 6 · Me: what do you want for your birthday dinner 7yo: just cake please
  • 15
    Michael Vo... @MichaelVo... Dec 6 Ø My 12yo, While Sledding: Yaaaaaaahooooo!! My 8yo, While Sledding: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Me, While Sledding: I've loooooooost myyyyy keeeeeeys!!!
  • 16
    Lurkin' M... @LurkAtHome... Dec 5 ☑ Me: HEY! What are you doing?! Those are my good scissors!! My kid: *cutting a pine cone in half* Yeah I KNOW. Why do you think I'm using them? And this is why we can't have nice things.
  • 17
    The Real Rod... @Real... Dec 6 Ø • ... Today is the day the wife and I wrap Christmas presents which is coincidentally also the day we start day drinking at 1 PM.
  • 18
    Hollie Harris @allholls Dec 5 0 When my 14yo walked into the house after school, he looked at the floor and asked if he could clean it because it was dirty. Then he vacuumed and mopped it. Christmas Miracles are real, people. Or, I might've picked up the wrong kid from school.
  • 19
    meghan @deloisivete · Dec 5 • sleigh bells ring, are you listening my kids: nope
  • 20
    meghan @deloisivete Dec 4 · My 7yo told me he doesn't want a party on his actual birthday because he just wants a break from people, and I totally get it
  • 21
    NicholasG @Dad_At_Law. Dec 5 0 Asked my daughter how her 8th grade year is going so far and she just said, "I think teachers get more headaches than other people."
  • 22
    The Real Rod... @Real... Wife: Do that thing I like. Me: [leaves room]
  • 23
    meghan @deloisivete. Dec 4 Why buy this when I can drop my kids off at the self-checkout for free Ο ... ✰ Highly rated $164.99 save $10, when you spend $40 on toys purchase Top gift pick Tarant Toy Chocklono: Drotond Channing
  • 24
    redyellowgreend... @RY... Dec 4 ... • 10, telling me about his crush... Me: "What kinds of things does she like?" Him: "I don't know" Me: "What do you know about her?" Him: "Nothing, I've never talked to her"
  • 25
    CONPHY Dad Named M... @mahna... • Dec 5 ... Is my daughter spoiled? Nope. Do I have an alarm set so I can fix her coffee drink in the morning before she goes dress shopping? Yep.
  • 26
    Katie D @KatieDeal99 Dec 3 Peak dad moment: I told my dad I liked his sweatshirt and he immediately went and bought me one so we could match ...
  • 27
    TROPHY Dad Named M... @mahnam... Dec 1 ... My son just asked Siri on his iPad when the elf on the shelf arrives and G*D%@M^%+I was hoping he forgot about that.

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